he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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