he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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