Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
