It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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