I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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