I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
