speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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