this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
worst night to have a conscience
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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