you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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