Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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