He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this boner is exhausting
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize