I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
