i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
