I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
