I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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