Do vagina's smell?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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