I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
