9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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