There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
