There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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