She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize