is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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