This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you had me at cake vodka
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
