I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
