You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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