I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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