Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he fucked my hip out of place.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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