Non-Jews are for practice
i just google imaged poop.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i drank out of a bidet.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
