it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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