I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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