"it" just moved
I don't think brook has ever known best
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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