well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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