White coat. Heels.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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