Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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