Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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