we have pet lesbian snakes
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
