What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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