my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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