If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
