maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
