Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
