xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
