eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
