I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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