Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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