the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
