new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
where are my eyebrows?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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