he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Everclear isn't food dammit
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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