There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
