I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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