All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
FUCK WHALES
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
