We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
