sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
