hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize