He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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