im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
