You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
