Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
