I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
