i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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