its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I see more hoeing in ur future
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
